This blog entry will be started out by me stating that I am a selfish human being, but we all are. We have to put ourselves first in life, or we end up on the sidelines watching everyone else take first place. I do not find fault with myself, because I have ambitions and dreams. I will accomplish my goals and in the process I will have to walk away from certain situations and people. The real issue lies with how these situations are handled and how these people are treated. I have been unfair to a lot of people who have cared a great deal for me. My intentions have never been bad, but when looked at in black and white, I have caused some people a decent amount of pain.
I have a tendency to say, “This is how this is,” and then I just walk away. I don’t give people a chance to explain anything, nothing. I just cut them out of my life. I’m so self-absorbed at times, that I don’t even realize, that’s what I’m doing.
I have seen so many people in life become victims, and I have always been dead set against becoming a victim myself. I refuse to believe that I am a victim of circumstance, I will never give up the little control I do have over my life to circumstance. If a situation is bad, or unhealthy, and I have the ability to realize that, I am going to walk away from that situation.
On the other hand, it seems that this built in alarm system I have is a little over sensitive. There has been many cases, were I have completely overreacted to something, which was never even a problem. My mind starts freaking out, and I get terrified that I am going to end up stuck. The concept of being stuck makes me feel like I’m being suffocated. The answer always seems to be walk away before someone can change your mind.
I’m not exactly sure if this makes any kind of real sense, but I needed to say it.
Sorry, that I made it impossible for you to reason with me.